What Does One Wear to A Funeral?

by Hanzky — Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 9:42 am

in Editorial and tagged with Pashmina, Sex and the City

Before anyone make any judgments about how silly it is thinking about outfits to wear to a funeral..I know that what matter most is that we being there, the mourning family would be too emotional to even think about the guests’ outfits. But I believe that we go to a funeral to show sympathy, support and respect..and one of the ways to show respect is by dressing appropriately.

In the West, people are really concern about what to wear to a funeral, it’s common that they even have to shop for the appropriate clothes before attending the service. We’ve all seen movies with a funeral scene where the men are wearing black suits and women are stylishly wearing their black trench coat or black pencil skirt or black dress, carrying a big black umbrella or wearing a flowy wide brim hat and oversize sunglasses. Polished black shoes are often the norm too.

I don’t know what’s the norm here because the last time I attended a funeral was back in 1992 so I have never thought about it up until last night when I went to a memorial service of my friend’s dad. I didn’t see a sea of black colors at the service, basically any colors were present, just not the overly bright colors. I also noticed that the ladies were wearing conservative or modest outfits which is perfect for the occasion especially when there’s a religious service involved. Bringing pashmina is good idea too, you can wear it as kerudung or just throw it over your shoulder.

Anyone dare to wear what Samantha wore when she attended Miranda’s mom funeral?

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Ragil says:

October 14, 2008 at 10:08 am

kalo di US gw liat emang pada rapi koq.. kan penghormatan terakhir.. Kalo di sini IMO lebih bebas.. yang penting cukup tertutup kalo untuk yang Islam.. Udah gitu kan bertanah-tanah di sini.. Tergantung hubungan sama almarhum/ah juga sih..

putri duyung says:

October 14, 2008 at 10:26 am

kalo kata orang orang tua bukannya sebaiknya pake item, putih or grey yah? tp jarang liat yg putih yah banyakan itemnya…

Opi says:

October 14, 2008 at 11:13 am

waks, kalo baju yang kayak Samantha sih kayaknya ngga Hanz, hihihihi… Pashmina dan baju muslim yang ga terlalu gonjreng aja udah cukup kayaknya.

dunia_dandan says:

October 14, 2008 at 11:46 am

Itu si Samantha.. gerejanya di Kapel Las Vegas kali nek? Kali-kali, selain buat kawin, bisa buat pemberkatan org meninggal juga?

Koukla says:

October 14, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Anything low-key is always a good idea. And I agree, pashmina is very useful!

kembang gula says:

October 14, 2008 at 12:34 pm

hmm, baju-baju yang “sopan”, berlengan pendek-panjang (yang penting bukan sleeveless) terus jangan lupa tambahin pashmina. biasanya sih di sini gitu, kalo warna malah enggak terlalu dipusingin deh. cuma kalo gue, lebih seneng liat keluarga duka yang berseragam putih daripada hitam, kesannya bersih

ngelzz says:

October 14, 2008 at 3:00 pm

kalo gue, ngikutin kata nyokap.. yg penting nggak gonjreng warnanya. ngga kudu item juga, bisa coklat, krem, gtu2 deh..

vanya says:

October 14, 2008 at 5:20 pm

dulu gw pernah tinggal di manado.
DI sana malahan harus pake baju item polos, ga perdui modelnya apa.

Pas gw balik ke Jakarta yang gw liat sih lebih bebas.
Malah banyak yang pake jeans dengan atasan yang agak rapih gitu..

Hanzky says:

October 14, 2008 at 7:40 pm

Ragil: iya bener disana tergantung hubungannya juga, kalo yang meninggal itu ‘football friends’ misalnya, jadi yang ngelayatnya itu pake baju baju football, atau baju yang biasa mereka pake kalo hang out bareng si almarhum.

Putduy: yang penting muted colors kayanya yah..

Opi & Debbie: Namanya juga Samantha, sambil ngelayat siapa tau bisa pick up a date juga..:D

Koukla & Kembgul: Dulu gue kira Pashmina cuma trend sesaat aja, ternyata jadi a must have item in our closet yah..:)

Ngelzz: Percaya deh, ibu ibu itu pastii bener..hehehe…

Vanya: Kemaren gue juga jadinya pake jeans with a black tube top and a black blazer..:D..Secara jeans itu satu satunya celana panjang yang gue punya…

DwD says:

October 14, 2008 at 7:50 pm

gw sih dulu paling pake baju lengan panjang warna item terus celana jeans sama selendang warna item klo ga salah. yang penting sih bajunya sopan aj dan preferably sih lengan panjang atau klo ga 3/4.

purplerebel says:

October 14, 2008 at 8:01 pm

Karena gw jarang pake item2 di keseharian ya kalo ke funeral gw kesempatan pake all blacks gitu deh hehehe. Tidak lupa cengdem keren juga hahaha…

silperlintje says:

October 15, 2008 at 12:03 am

Gw belom pernah sih ke funeral yang “seragamnya” dress kaya di sono. Jahat ye kalo bilang: pengen juga siiihhhh. Palingan pernah terpaksa pake rok karna berangkatnya dari kantor dan pada jam kerja pulak.

Kayanya di poto itu geromboan SATC pas pigi ke funeralnya designer Javier sapaaa gitu. Si Carry ama Charlotte nyela Samantha gara2 bajunya itu. Pas ud di pemakaman, ternyata mereka berdua termasuk yang paling laen sendiri. Orang2 laen pada pake latest collection si almarhum yang tentunya ga ditujukan buat acara funeral

mike says:

October 15, 2008 at 12:04 am

I think the key is to wear somehting that doesn’t attract attention away from the deceased or family.

mike
http://www.funeral-tips.com

October 16, 2008 at 12:15 am

sebenernya sih, kalo soal pashmina itu cuma karena tradisi tahlilan di rumah duka..yah budaya kita kalo dateng ke acara ngaji-ngaji gitu kan enggak enak kalo enggak bawa “kerudung”. hehehe. tapi mungkin, kalo ngelayat yang tanpa tahlilan gitu mungkin enggak apa-apa kali ya enggak pake?

gue terakhir kali ngelayat yang enggak ada acara tahlilannya pas SD sih, jadi enggak inget

disti says:

October 16, 2008 at 12:16 am

gue si pake klo ngga putih, item.

tp pernah gue saltum banget. i didnt plan on going to the funeral but ended up going. gue pake baju warnanya vermillion gitu, it was a chinese family. diliatin gitu bo.. sadar sih emang akan dosa gue T_T. tp mo gimana lagi.

missajeng says:

October 16, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Kalau ‘tradisi’ di keluarga besar gue sih, not necessarily black or white. Biru tua, ijo tua, abu-abu, coklat tua, masih acceptable.
Tapi biasanya kalau pihak immediate family, pake putih.

Trus kalau dalam tradisi keturunan Tionghoa, biasanya immediate family pake baju dari belacu tanpa jahitan (atau dijahit jelujur aja), pake iket kepala dari kain belacu putih, atau pake gelang dari belacu putih. Namanya ‘Toa Ha’ (CMIIW).

Gue pribadi biasanya pake kemeja putih atau hitam dengan bawahan warna gelap (hitam, biru tua, abu-abu) kalau ke funeral. Nothing overly revealing juga.

annisa says:

October 19, 2008 at 4:44 pm

Aku diajarin ibuku bhw warna dukacita kebanyakan bangsa Asia itu putih, warna hitam adalah warna orang Barat. Emang kalo lihat pemakaman org Chinese, India, Pakistan atau Korea, biasanya pake putih ya? Yang penting jangan pake warna stabilo atau baju terbuka. Kalo cowo, yaa jangan pake celana pendeklah, keterlaluan.

happineesh says:

October 20, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Terakhir ke pemakaman 1 bulan lalu, gw pake baju item polos dan pashmina. Yang ngelayat ga semua pake item sih, yang penting ga ‘terbuka2′ apalagi kaya samantha. Fokusnya bukan ama yang meninggal dan keluarga yang ditinggal malahan ya.

vanness77 says:

October 22, 2008 at 1:43 pm

OMG, that Samantha was … I don’t think people in Indo would wear something like that

classic says:

November 5, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Yang jelas tidak memakai warna cerah deh, karena orang chinese pantang berwarna cerah pada acara ini.